We All Should Care

Accept the call for a deeper purpose.

December 3rd 2009

Dear Spencer,

I know that you don’t know me, but I know you. As much as I can that is, through your art, your soul.  If you were here, you would probably argue with me, in fact I’m almost damn certain you would, that I cannot know you at all, simply from words alone, but I’d beg to differ, if I had been given the chance to know you.  I’ve never romanticized the fact that you were a deity, to be put on a pedestal and worshipped, though I’m sure you wouldn’t have minded that, hell who would? Tell me you wouldn’t want someone bringing you beer, and food, having someone at your beck and call..go ahead, I’ll wait.

See that’s what I thought.

I’ve given a lot of thought to what I’d say to you, and have sat around feeling sorry for myself that I’d never receive that chance, then I realized that I was giving in. Giving in to the fact that so many believe, that once you’re gone, you’re gone, and I don’t believe that.   I know that even though bastard cancer took your body from this world far too damn soon, that your soul remains, and as long as I know that fact I’ll keep introducing people to your Legacy, I’ll make sure that I never let anyone forget, or go through life not being aware of who you are. (Yes, because you’re just that good.)

So because you’re still here with us, and I know that somehow you can read these words, be it on this screen or written on my heart, I want to thank you.

I’ve told everyone else what you’ve done for me, but I’ve never had the chance to tell you.

There was a time in my life, that wasn’t so long ago, when I was Lost.  I was merely on auto pilot,taking care of everyone else because they needed me, but the very core of me, the part of me that needed to be present in my body for me to do more than merely exist, it was Lost. It was wandering around through the dark, not a hand to hold, or a light in sight. I was completely, and utterly alone with no-one to reach out to. A shattered heart, a broken spirit and I had almost accepted the fact that I could never be fixed and I may never be anything more than a mere shell, a vessel here to help others through this life, until I ceased to exist and just faded away.

Then, I found you. I found someone who understood what it was to be lost, to know that sometimes even breathing was painful, and that while nothing, fucking nothing made sense sometimes, you had the belief that eventually it would. Eventually we would have our answers.  I fell into your music, your words, and I became a “Spencerian”, and I noticed something that I hadn’t in quite some time. There was a light at the end of my dark, cold abyss, and suddenly I had a hand to hold. Yours.

You may not be perfect, and for that I’m thankful, but you did save me, when I didn’t think I was worth saving. You inspired me, when I thought I had no passion left, and you reintroduced me to my courage, my strength, attributes that I thought were gone indefinitely.

No, I didn’t get a chance to know you, to buy you a beer, to have a conversation with you, but I wish like hell that I had. Yet, I’m grateful that I came to know you, even if I was late in doing so.

Today as you are surrounding those that you hold dearest, know that when you see them cry, it isn’t because they aren’t celebrating your life, it is because they are so torn, so shattered that you were taken from them, leaving a huge void in their hearts, that nothing, not even time can heal.   Know that it has to be difficult for them to share you with the world, but they do it anyway because they want the world to know just how incredibly amazing you ARE.

I may not have known you Spencer, but I love you.  Thank you, for all that you were, and are. Thank you for being my light, and the light that guides so many others, even if it was never your intention.

Willow

For Spencer’s family and friends:

I know you face today with a heavy heart, and tears of sadness, of bitterness, possibly of anger, and I will NOT tell you that time will ease that pain.

NOTHING will make getting up every morning and facing the day without him any easier. A day can pass, a month, ten years, contrary to popular belief, time does not heal all wounds, and I won’t sit here and pump sunshine, I refuse.   I respect each and every one of you far too much to give you false words of comfort.

I will say that he is only as gone as you allow his soul to be. He may not be next to you physically, but every time you think “Spencer would have liked that.”, “Spencer would have said this.”, “Spencer would have been a pain in the ass about that.” he is right there with you, looking over your shoulder and laughing, because he knows you love him, and that he will never be forgotten.

Spencer was extraordinary.  Spencer was talented. Spencer was facetious, and from what I hear, the occasional pain in the ass.

Spencer was Spencer, and he always will be.

Today, you mourn the loss of him, and you grieve. You cry, you ache, you scream at the sky, you cling to one another, and please know, if you need an extra shoulder, I have two.

Alright, where are my fellow “tweeters” at?
That either sounds dirty, or like we’re druggies. Either way lol
Come join me on Twitter today, as I have declared it Spencer Bell Day!
We are going to get the trending topic to be #spencerbellislegendary, and tweet about how incredible his legacy is, all day.
With bouts of humor, probably dreadful jokes mixed in, and lots of heart felt emotion.
My Spencerian Army thus far?
Add us all.

@SpencerBell

@Willow_Raine

@taylor_blue

@hello_jodie

@Damij

@pconway6

We’d appreciate the help, love,and support for Spencer, and Adrenal Cancer Awareness.

I’ve made a pledge. A Pledge to get people to care. I intend on keeping my word, and yet I know it won’t be easy.
I’ve been writing on another site about Spencer Bell, and when I got this site up and running, I knew he had to be my first actual post. He is a young man that was taken well before his time due to Adrenal Cancer. Talented, an artisan, a beautiful soul. He deserves to have his legacy live on.
Before his passing in December of 2006, he made arrangements with his mother to have his works, his art, displayed to the world.
They are all very moving, and were, for me, life altering.
You can learn more about him HERE.
If you’ll notice the picture at the top of the page, that is my wrist, and on it, is a bracelet that says ‘The Music Lives On’ on one side, and on the other, is Spencer’s Memorial Site address.
If you haven’t heard of Spencer, you truly are missing out on beautiful masterpieces, touching stories, some that will make you laugh, others that will touch your heart and make you cry.
He may not be with us in his physical body, but he lives on, through his family, his friends, his fans, and last but certainly not least, his art.
So, I thought, “Hey! I have a great idea!” And thus, my outreach was born.
I have forty bracelets, just like the one that I have on my wrist, to pass out, to the first forty people who go to Spencer’s site, and fill out a profile, listen to his music, read his lyrics,journal entries, and look at his art. Get to know him. Report back to me with your link, your favorite piece, or story that you read about him,and I’ll send you a bracelet. (Not to mention that your soul was fed as well. It’s a win/win).
Then I’m going to forward each of your heart felt messages on, to his family. I know that your words, your feelings, and thoughts would touch them, help them to know that Spencer’s story is being shared around the world. That through him, through them, people will learn about Adrenal Cancer, and we WILL make a difference.

Update: Yes you have seen this post before, but it bears repeating since some people won’t scroll back through all of the awesome articles. Go, get to know Spencer and then report back to me on what you love, like, are impassioned by in his works. Go ahead, I’ll wait

If only dancing around your living room and singing loudly into a broom handle could be a competitive sport, I’d be in the Olympics!
Earlier today, I was cleaning house, I popped in my, Spencer Bell Live & Wasted Album, and I sang and danced my heart out.
No kidding. I know all the words, and I may not sing them on key, I may even change a word or two on occasion but I don’t think Spencer minds, because I enjoy myself.
I enjoy his music.
I celebrate his life every single day,and listening to his music just brings a smile to my face.
Since I’ve “met” him, my life has started changing so much, in so many ways, and I keep saying it, but one day, Spencer, you’re stuck drinking with me, so prepare yourself!
There is a lot of new stuff happening on the Legacy site, you should go check it out, they’ve even added new works of Spencer’s.
Hurry and go now, LEGACY SITE or you’ll be sorry that you didn’t! If you haven’t been before,consider this, he has me bopping around the house singing his music, imagine what he could do for you!
He’s better than Tony Robbins ever had time to be, and he tells it real, like it is, no sugar coating! If you want to donate for research to help find a cure for the POS cancer that yanked this beautiful young man away from this world far too damn soon, go here –>CANCER BLOWS.
Every bit makes a difference!

[[Image courtesy of google images]]

I know that I do an incredible amount of talking about Spencer Bell, and that by doing so, you may think that I have him on a pedestal.
Please, allow me to put that to rest, right now.
I would NEVER place him, or anyone else on one, because we are all human, we are all flawed, and humans aren’t meant to sit still for that long, we’d fall. The last thing I would ever want, is for Spencer to fall.
I may think his soul is a light that can illuminate even the darkest corner, but I do not think that he is without flaws. I think that it is the fact that he was so perfectly imperfect, that draws me to him.
His ability to put his passion, his rights, his wrongs, his thoughts, his feelings, so much of him into his art amazes me, and it gives me hope. Hope that I can and possibly am doing the same thing with my own writing.
The Legacy he has left behind, is awe inspiring, and I want to help share it with as many people as possible.
I want people to know Spencer, his work, his Legacy.
I want them to know that even though we are all merely human, and only ONE person, that we CAN make a difference.
I want them to know that his family and friends are among some of the most amazingly kind, and wonderful people I have ever been privileged to meet, and we should thank them for sharing Spencer with us.
I want them to know the meaning of LIVING.
If you want to know more about Spencer, please click his name above and it will direct you to his Legacy site, and if you’d like to give to Adrenal Cancer Research (the horrible disease that stole him away) then please go HERE.. know that every bit makes a difference.

[[Image courtesy of spencerbellmemorial.ning]]

Spencer Bell has left behind so many profound words. His lyrics are powerful, and the song “Dandelions” is no exception. In fact, it’s one of my favorites.
Don’t let life pass you by, enjoy it, take it with a grain of salt, none of us get out alive anyway, sit back, enjoy the ride. I’m sure we could all take away something different, and that is what I take away from it.
Spencer had a way of putting things, so that all of us could get it.
I love that. Blunt, straight forward and to the point.
“To all our friends who will meet us at the end.”
I don’t know what supremely awaits me after this life, we can’t know with certainty. Whatever it is, I hope Spencer is there on the other side with a cold beer and is ready to do some talking.
If you’d like to know more about Spencer, please visit his Legacy site by clicking on his name at the top of this post.
And if you’d like to donate to help fund adrenal cancer research, please click HERE. We can make a difference!

[[Image provided by and property of spencerbellmemorial.ning.com]]

I chose Spencer’s “It Wouldn’t Be So Bad”, poem for the inspiration for this post today,for several reasons.
You can see it in it’s entirety here: It Wouldn’t Be So Bad
A huge part of it, is that it touched someone very close to me, and I absolutely love that I was able to introduce her to Spencer.
Jode Platz ia a musician herself, and she loves music to the point of distraction, so she really relates to this piece in a personal way.
I think another part of it, is that I adore music myself, there have been times, when I wasn’t hiding in a book, I was hiding in music. (Strictly on a listening level, unless you’re referring to my ability to dance around the house, singing into my hairbrush, or singing loudly along with the radio).
So, I too, can relate on a smaller scale. I tend to also apply the mentality to my passions, if I were to slip away while writing or reading, perhaps that would be a smooth transition for me, because it is such a big part of who I am.
If you’d like to know more about Spencer, please visit here: Spencer Bell Memorial, and/or, if you’d like to make a donation to the Adrenal Cancer Research fund, please go here: DONATE! Every contribution is deeply appreciated.

[[image courtesy of google.com/images]]

I’ve been writing about Spencer Bell daily, since I “met” him, and today is no exception.
Spencer has really caused a renewal of the spark that I had for writing.
He has been an amazing inspiration, and I hope that if he were with us, it would bring a smile to his face to know that.
So, in keeping with that spirit, I’ll post a piece of my prose, and dedicate it to Spencer;an incredible writer, and a very talented young man.

If you’d like to read about Spencer, see his work, see videos, listen to his music, please go here:The Music Lives On And just as importantly, if you’d like to make a donation to help fund the research about the disease that took him from this world, please visit here: DONATE Every contribution is sincerely appreciated.

I have read Spencer’s words so many times, yet each time I do, I either happen upon a piece that I identify with, or that I finally just “get” if that makes sense.
The one I read today, that I want to post about is WHEN I PAINT (Click on the name to read it).
He talks about how he really doesn’t over think his pieces, but they make sense to HIM. I feel that way a lot, but also for me, when I’m writing, I tend to not think much at all. I let my soul do the writing, and basically what happens is a kind of beautiful magic.
Because the piece conceives and births itself.
After reading Spencer’s words, I get the odd sensation, that he felt the same way at times.
If you’d like to read more of his prose, please do! And tell a friend!
Go to THE MUSIC LIVES ON!
If you want to donate to help fund the research of the disease that took him away so young, please visit: ADRENAL CANCER RESEARCH. Any and all donations are appreciated.

[[Image courtesy of spencerbellmemorial.ning.com]]

The piece of SPENCER’S that I want to talk about today is: ADDICTIONS you can read it by clicking the name.
It’s basically talking about how he must be addicted to writing, and believe me, I know how that feels, all too well. It’s a walk that I take several times daily.
Without my words, who would I be?
Would I even exist?
Sometimes I wonder if I do exist on the same plane as everyone else,because it seems as if I can’t reach people even when it feels as if I’m shouting.
I often wonder if Spencer felt that way. Perhaps he did.
If you want to know more about Spencer, or familiarize yourself with more of his art, (and you should it’s awe inspiring) then please visit The Music Lives On, and if you can find it within your heart, and your pockets, to donate to the cause, to support the research of the disease that took his life, please go to: Adrenal Cancer Research Every donation is extremely appreciated.